Friday, 13 October 2017

I Know What I am

I know what it is that makes me, just as I know what can break me. But each time I encounter what gets to me, I look for ways to make me stronger, or maybe more flexible, whatever it is that will help me defeat the weakness, the fear. I am not yet ready, I am evolving still, and hope that the evolution never stops, for I want not to be a hard rock lying on the ground, but an ever growing beautiful shrub that changes, moves grows as time passes, becoming more and more resilient, stronger, and also more helpful to others, as it produces fragrant flowers, or fruits to eat, shade or even just cleaner air to breathe. I know I am not like anyone else, I am unique, I am different, I take pride in that, as I feel everyone should(in their uniqueness). What good is a thing that is a clone of a million others, like those that have rolled off the factory floor. I want to be the unique sculpture, sculpted by hand, the one which is like none other. I don't want to fit in boxes, or roles, for I can be more, beyond them and still fill them all. I know that boxes are necessary, for everyone to perform their part in the running of humanity, society and I never want to evade the work that is mine, but I also truly want to evolve in their performance. Whether it is as a mother, a wife, a woman, I want to fill those boxes with the uniqueness that is me, and learn from each moment of playing those roles to improve from within.

No, I am not perfect, not even close, but that does not mean I stop trying. My definition of perfection itself changes, but my desire to reach it is constant. I am not defined by what I lack, or what I need to improve. "I am impatient!" is not a statement for me, but a quality that needs efforts to change... and that is the only way I shall evolve, into a better version of what I am each moment. And so I say, the desire to get better is the only thing that needs to have permanence in my life, everything else is evolving, changing and hopefully will be, till my very last breath!

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