We live in a very materialistic world today. No matter how much we have, it is never enough, and often 'things' are the only thing that bring us joy. The joy of knowing that I 'have' more often exceeds the joy of I 'love' more. I am no stranger to the joys of shopping and material posessions. And I wonder if ever I will be able to be bereft of the desire to possess 'things', especially ones which are made of gorgeous handmade fabrics and jewellery. After all I am a woman, and I do have my indulgences.
However, what I am thinking about today, is the ability to sacrifice, to bear pain for the happiness of others, or even just to control our own desires. It is but a well known fact, that greed is never satisfied, no matter how much we earn and collect, greed just raises the bar further. And that dissatisfaction, keeps us forever in a state of unhappiness. This takes me back to a very different philosophy of life. One that I have often observed growing up, and I know people who strongly persist in it even today. The practice of giving up, a practice that fills us with joy and immense happiness. In a world filled with 'me me me' how often do we give up, let go, just for someone else? It can be the smallest of things, like having a cup of coffee to provide company to a friend, even though you may absolutely hate coffee. Or attending a party with someone who is too scared to go all by themselves, even though you'd rather stay home and 'Netflix and chill'. How often do we do it, if at all? And when we do, how does it make us feel? Do you feel all warm and fuzzy about yourself.
The joy of doing something for someone else, even when it is not serving our own purpose is what I call sacrifice. When I was young, I have repeatedly heard that, 'True love is nothing but sacrifice.' And I have to but agree. What is love, if you cannot put their needs, wants and desires ahead of your own? And I do mean all kinds of love, not only the sexual kind. You know that rush of happiness, when we let an old lady ahead of us in a queue, or give up our seat in a public place for a pregnant lady, that is the kind of joy our world is forgetting with each passing minute. We are being taught to only think and live for ourselves, not be a part of anything bigger like a couple, a family, a community or even humanity. At every moment we are encouraged to put only our own selfish wants and needs ahead. And that to me, a very sad humanity makes.
Our true happiness lies in giving, not receiving. A secret to happiness we are quickly forgetting, and are being encouraged to completely forget. When we give up something for someone, its not a loss, but a gain and a big one. I have an example to share, one that I have often thought about, and wondered. There are often conversations about women being able to wear what they want to without a care. And I agree that not only women, but people should have the free will to conduct themselves as they like. But then I think about the fact that I am also still a mother, part of a family, a community, and I wonder if I gave into the expectation of others, by sacrificing my own desire, would it be such a bad thing? I think not, if I approached it with the right attitude. To know that I am doing my bit to be a part of the larger group, instead of thinking of it as oppression, I would feel like I am making a contribution. This ofcourse is a very simple example and would not apply to harmful or truly oppressive practices.
In India the culture of sacrifice has been strong and deep rooted for centuries. From the sages and ascetics, who sacrificed the comforts of family life to attain spiritual enlightenment, to the communities that sacrifice the eating of certain foods or wearing of certain colours to preserve their values. There are wealthy families who donate all their wealth and become monks, young men and women who shed their worldly possessions and become ascetics, people who take a vow of silence for a day on a regular basis and many more such practices. I find these people inspiring, and ones who truly understand the meaning of happiness. Imagine giving away your food, to a poor homeless person when you are truly hungry, just imagine the spiritual joy in it. That is the kind of pure joy mankind is sadly missing out on experiencing. A joy that brings good karma, less material longing, and creates a path for further spiritual growth. It is in the giving of things that we receive the blessing of pure joy. It is that culture that will lead to growth of mankind in all ways. Give in to the wants of others, even at the cost of yourself at times, to allow the joys of sacrifice to build in your life.
Give your chocolate to your friend, let your parents decide something for you, give your neighbour the amazing piece of BlackForest from last night's party, donate the money you saved up for your new TV to charity, maybe even join mother-in-law for a cup of tea or a satsang when you would rather sleep-in in your pyjamas. It is these moments, these deeds and these blessings that will truly help you find happiness in life, one that a cupboard full of fancy clothes and designer jewellery never will. The happiness that feeds our soul, and makes us want less and need even lesser.
However, what I am thinking about today, is the ability to sacrifice, to bear pain for the happiness of others, or even just to control our own desires. It is but a well known fact, that greed is never satisfied, no matter how much we earn and collect, greed just raises the bar further. And that dissatisfaction, keeps us forever in a state of unhappiness. This takes me back to a very different philosophy of life. One that I have often observed growing up, and I know people who strongly persist in it even today. The practice of giving up, a practice that fills us with joy and immense happiness. In a world filled with 'me me me' how often do we give up, let go, just for someone else? It can be the smallest of things, like having a cup of coffee to provide company to a friend, even though you may absolutely hate coffee. Or attending a party with someone who is too scared to go all by themselves, even though you'd rather stay home and 'Netflix and chill'. How often do we do it, if at all? And when we do, how does it make us feel? Do you feel all warm and fuzzy about yourself.
The joy of doing something for someone else, even when it is not serving our own purpose is what I call sacrifice. When I was young, I have repeatedly heard that, 'True love is nothing but sacrifice.' And I have to but agree. What is love, if you cannot put their needs, wants and desires ahead of your own? And I do mean all kinds of love, not only the sexual kind. You know that rush of happiness, when we let an old lady ahead of us in a queue, or give up our seat in a public place for a pregnant lady, that is the kind of joy our world is forgetting with each passing minute. We are being taught to only think and live for ourselves, not be a part of anything bigger like a couple, a family, a community or even humanity. At every moment we are encouraged to put only our own selfish wants and needs ahead. And that to me, a very sad humanity makes.
Our true happiness lies in giving, not receiving. A secret to happiness we are quickly forgetting, and are being encouraged to completely forget. When we give up something for someone, its not a loss, but a gain and a big one. I have an example to share, one that I have often thought about, and wondered. There are often conversations about women being able to wear what they want to without a care. And I agree that not only women, but people should have the free will to conduct themselves as they like. But then I think about the fact that I am also still a mother, part of a family, a community, and I wonder if I gave into the expectation of others, by sacrificing my own desire, would it be such a bad thing? I think not, if I approached it with the right attitude. To know that I am doing my bit to be a part of the larger group, instead of thinking of it as oppression, I would feel like I am making a contribution. This ofcourse is a very simple example and would not apply to harmful or truly oppressive practices.
In India the culture of sacrifice has been strong and deep rooted for centuries. From the sages and ascetics, who sacrificed the comforts of family life to attain spiritual enlightenment, to the communities that sacrifice the eating of certain foods or wearing of certain colours to preserve their values. There are wealthy families who donate all their wealth and become monks, young men and women who shed their worldly possessions and become ascetics, people who take a vow of silence for a day on a regular basis and many more such practices. I find these people inspiring, and ones who truly understand the meaning of happiness. Imagine giving away your food, to a poor homeless person when you are truly hungry, just imagine the spiritual joy in it. That is the kind of pure joy mankind is sadly missing out on experiencing. A joy that brings good karma, less material longing, and creates a path for further spiritual growth. It is in the giving of things that we receive the blessing of pure joy. It is that culture that will lead to growth of mankind in all ways. Give in to the wants of others, even at the cost of yourself at times, to allow the joys of sacrifice to build in your life.
Give your chocolate to your friend, let your parents decide something for you, give your neighbour the amazing piece of BlackForest from last night's party, donate the money you saved up for your new TV to charity, maybe even join mother-in-law for a cup of tea or a satsang when you would rather sleep-in in your pyjamas. It is these moments, these deeds and these blessings that will truly help you find happiness in life, one that a cupboard full of fancy clothes and designer jewellery never will. The happiness that feeds our soul, and makes us want less and need even lesser.
