Just a Hello

A beautiful click by The PM about  5 years back at the Melbourne Zoo.
This photo is completely unmodified, presented, as it was clicked.

And Why Disney Does NOT Work For Me.

Rather it makes me think someone up there in the high echelons of the world of Disney, has got it all wrong. Disney is all about glamour princesses, and I wonder why? That is the association we have in our minds about Disney. Its princesses are invariably sexy, and out there to find their Prince Charming. More often, than not, there is nothing, that is truly fit for children in their movies, besides being animation. Let me explain my view, taking the movie 'Frozen', as an example. I saw it with my 7 year old, and none of us were impressed. A couple of months down the line, it was a rage, selling merchandise and what not. How does that happen I wonder? Marketing, pure marketing, but marketing of what?

Often it is about creating a hype, or, a trend  and riding on its wave. I wonder when this trend began. My very Indian mother, has no longing for anything princess like, she never did. My greatest feminine obsession was possibly for a Barbie, which I got, played with about twice and was done. I did knit a purse for it though. Coming back to the point, however, I wonder when did the princess obsession begin, and why? Most countries in the world today are no longer ruled by monarchy. And where the royal families do exist, I wonder what makes the hard working common man (or woman for that matter), idolise them, do they indeed idolise their rulers? These people, referred to as royals, are rich, not because they work hard, or make things, or do anything truly productive, but just because they belong to a certain blood line. The money and wealth they posess, is gained from centuries of exploiting the hard working people of the world, or taken by force, or in plain words, stolen. Often plagued by affairs, immoral behaviour, bad behaviour, lack of ethics, these people don't exactly feel like the best role model for a child. If one looks at one of the most famous monarchies of the world today, the British Royals, we will find examples of all kinds of things that are wrong. Adultery, debauchery, cruelty, immoraity, dishonesty and what not. What then is to idolise about them? No parent in the world would seek their child to tread on that path, I am sure. I could probably identify with a princess who is kind, loving ,charitable(if that is even possible), but what we have are sexy women, acting out their parts, as glamour dolls.

Disney makes a huge deal about this entire princess business,and sells it, to make huge profits. And it does not need to try too hard either, because it has built up an entire industry around this princess-obsession over the years .Taking Frozen for example,I wonder if I missed out a memo, that stated the rule, that every princess has to be skinny and blonde? Or is that their narrow view of a very racist kind? There have been many princesses in the history of the world, who have been brave, strong and kind, but were neither white, nor blonde. And can a Disney Princess never be without a well exposed cleavage? And then ofcourse the kissing, and hankering for a true romantic attachment. So that is what should be role of a princess according to Disney, and moreover, every child in the world should want the same? In the movie, an older sister, and a princess, who is happy to abandon all her duties and responsibilities to not just her kingdom, but also her little sister, to run away, Let It Go,  and enjoy a life filled with her own whims and fantasies, is teh lead character.She is breathtakingly beautiful (with pretty unreal body proportions), but does not care about anyone, but herself. This is what the movie portrays, the children lap it up, and want to be a princess/prince, dress up, buy their merchandise and watch the movie umpteen number of times. And we wonder why the new generation is so self involved. It is not just that such movies are made, it is that parents let their children watch such movies and then encourage their obsession with these ideologies. Wonder why kids these days have relationships, have sex, so early on in life? The innocence is lost, because we parents allow it to be so.

Worst of all, the sexualisation of every character. For a movie, that is touted to be for children, that is just simply wrong. Sexual love will be discovered by children as they grow up, big clevages, heaving at the sight of beefed up men, does not need to be thrust into their faces at a tender age. I don't like princesses, I don't like sexualisation of children, or their movies, I don't like, 'being sexy' being projected as an ideal to little girls. Its long past the time, when we as parents just accept everything as a trend. We need to think about our parenting, and make strong choices, put our foot down, and let out children just be children, sweet and innocent, not waiting to pull up their hemlines and push down their necklines, waiting for a prince charming and riches. The ideals they need are of working hard and earning an honest living. Loving their family and friends, being ready to sacrifice for love. And considering Disney's exact opposite ideals, its a BIG NO, for my family.

And The Smallie Speaks

Today the BB started grade 3, and the Smallie went back to Kindy for the 2nd time, last Tuesday, 20th Jan 2015 was his 1st day. Last night as I put the boys to sleep in their bed, a bit earlier than had been the routine over the 6 weeks of the holidays, they tried every trick in the book they could to stay up, which they did anyways. The BB said, he was having scary dreams, even before he had fallen asleep. So I asked him to pray to Bapu, and say, "Bapu I am feeling scared, please hold my hand and put me to sleep." The BB said nothing, but The Smallie goes "Bapu hold Dada's hand, he is feeling scared, and put me to sleep." I had a good laugh ofcourse.


Today morning, which their lunch boxes and everything was packed, and the boys were sitting down for breakfast, the Smallie, opened his lunch bag, looked in, and said, " Aah! that's my sandwich. Looks like I have everything I need for Kindy!". And so off he went for his 2nd day in kindy-land.

Bapu bless my boys always, stand by their side and guide them at every step of life. Mi Ambadnya Aahe.

Simply Awesome....

that is my day today. So many things happened, that I have not had the time to savour them completely just yet. I can hopefully read this post on a rainy day and smile for the blessings that have been showered on me today.

This week is another one of single parenting, not too exciting, because its the last week of term, the BB is tiered, and went to bed last night with watery eyes and a really runny nose, all thanks to Spring allergies, and I have plenty of work to do for the upcoming celebrations for the BB's birthday on Sunday. And today just tells me, it will be an absolutely amazing week.

The Smallie was at his music class today, and his teacher and I had a long long chat after the lesson. And she was so full of praises for his abilities, especially with him being the youngest in his class. Its always nice to know your child is doing well.

I had an end-of-term interview with The BB's teacher today afternoon, and there was no way I could focus with The Smallie around. So I asked, and a dear friend kindly agreed to have him for an hour, at the park, while I went in to meet the teacher. The Smallie, was no bother at all, he was not upset, not anxious, nothing, he just walked into the park, and was happily there for a little under an hour, did not even bother to come to me when I got there. This was my first time, leaving him with someone other than PM, and it did not seem like he was hassled one bit. A big milestone, and such an easy one. That kid is ready to go to school I tell you!

And then ofcourse the BB. We were done with the review way too quickly. He is doing GREAT, and to say I am proud, is putting it lightly. He is progressing, learning, making efforts, while doing oh! so well already. I am so sorry PM missed both of the reviews this year.  When the teacher asked me, if there was anything I was concerned about, and would like to discuss, I had nothing to say, but that I was very happy with the way he was going. How he insisted on going to school today, though he was not a 100% today morning, tells me he is enjoying school. And the teacher had only the loveliest things to say about him, and the best bit was her saying, she loves having him in our class. what more could I want, than my child's teacher enjoying having him as a pupil. And can I add, that is a far far cry from what my teachers thought of me at that age.

And the cherry on top, was the boys having an absolute gala, jumping in a muddy puddle they managed to find at the park, the 2 of mine, and the 2 beautiful girls of my friend just went at it non stop for close to an hour, and man were they disgustingly filthy, but simply exuberant to have had that play. God's beautiful blessing to our beautiful day.

Bapu, I am eternally Ambadnya!

As A Parent...

- I know I am doing something right, because

Today we enrolled my little tornado, The Smallie, in a kindergarten. He will start in Jan next year. This happened while the BB was at school. So in the afternoon, when I picked him up, I told him about the new development, and said, next year, he and I could probably go for movies when The Smallie is at his kindy. To this, he replied, "But, then The Smallie will miss you on all the fun, and we cannot tell him what we did."

- I excelled by taming my fears

We were off to the Redcliffe Festival for Father's Day yesterday. And the BB wanted to go on all the crazy rides, and they all needed a partner in tow. I hoped he would not make the height cut off, but he did, and so, I hopped in with him, my heart in my mouth, and not just 1 of those crazy rides mind you.  I hope I get brownie points for that.

Nationality, Race, Creed and More....

Saw this video while having my breakfast today morning, and absolutely loved it. Have a look, and then I will say more.



I like this one for a few reasons. Its factual, not fanatic, it says a few things that are a core part of my being an Indian and then, it is funny. It takes a lot to be able to be respectable, while having a sense of humour about yourself.

As an Indian I feel, we often move loving our country to fanaticism, which often represents a feeling of defensiveness. I used to do that myself and still do.  It has taken me many years of being away from India, to actually start to appreciate it, without feeling inferior or defensive in any way. Each country, each culture is different. There is no 'bad' or 'good', unless we are talking about violence, exploitation or oppression. It takes a mature, open mind to accept and understand that. I for one, don't think most of us are mature enough, and unfortunately have no will to be either.

There are two things I want to say here, the first is about being Indian, and the second is about learning to live outside India with dignity and sensibility.

The first thing I love about this video, is when he says , 'I am an Indian'. Yes, that is what I am, no mater which state I live in, what my mother tongue is or what cuisine I eat, I am an Indian. We need to unite, not divide ourselves. It has been my gripe for years, and still is, that we are too divided to have a united national identity. We still fight about our language, a region and what not, we are still divided by communal forces. Without us truly realising, it leads to undesirable behaviour in our own personal lives, like impolite, unsocial behaviour in social settings. A simple thing like conversing in a language that is not understood or spoken by all, is impolite. We unfortunately feel it gives us a great advantage, or a sense of power to speak in a language that can be 'our secret' code. I remember, when I was still studying, we were a group of 4 friends. 3 of us shared a common mother tongue, and we often very insensitively conversed in it, leaving the the 4th feeling high and dry. Never cared, till one day she just walked out on us abruptly, while we were chatting. And even then it took us a couple of minutes, to realise, why. It was rude and impolite ofcourse, and at the same time, it was alienating a friend. Hopefully I have learnt since then, and try to not repeat that mistake. The PM fortunately is a great influence, who is always insisting on speaking in a common language when in public. Language is a means of communication, we should use it for the same purpose, not as a means to divide us further. I feel it is often, that in our minds we are Gujarati, Bengali, Tamil, Maharashtrian, Punjabi and such like, which further propagates us to behave in this fashion. When would our identity be, that of an Indian, within India or outside?

I am an Indian, and definitely I am proud of my country. But that is never at the cost of diminishing another. I understand differences, but I don't believe in showing others down.  I have been fortunate, not to have faced any major issues of racial abuse or discrimination. I have however met people who are ignorant, or feel they are superior than me, for some reason. And I attribute that to them as people. When I had newly moved out of India, I was intimidated by such people, especially a few who felt they needed to guide me into becoming an acceptable human being. Then, I was not sure whether that was my social inadequacy, or their attitude, but I know better now. I have also changed since, I understand that India is very very different from the west, culturally, environmentally, socially and more. I don't think either is worse than the other. Both have their pros and cons. So I no longer feel intimidated. Sometimes, I am surprised by people's ignorance or insensitivity, but that is all I attribute it to, not racial behaviour. The world is becoming multicultural, and it takes a while for people to accept that, and understand that. We need to give everyone the space to accept and understand that. India is possibly the fore-runner of a truly multicultural society. For ages, we have had various races, communities and religions come and settle in India, whether by means of war, conquering, as traders or otherwise. It was not easy even then, it has taken all these years for the entire set to be called Indians, rather than basing it on their origins.   I don't go around trying to clear up misconceptions, but I no longer get bogged down by them either. For the number of people I have met, who have grave misconceptions or a lopsided conception of India, I have met many, who have neither. There are those who have accepted me as a peer in the community, appreciated our differences and are friends all the same. And it would be awfully ignorant  of me to dismiss them, or to maintain a biased opinion of any sort myself. I have also in the last few years learnt about the way of life here, and commit less social blunders, that is not to say none, but just less. It is different. I am thankful to the ones, who have ignored my faux pass when I did not know better, because that gave me an opportunity to learn and adapt.  If we, just give ourselves time to learn and understand, rather than judge and dismiss, we are often the ones who have the most to gain. 

By the grace of God, I love being where I am now. I have patience, and understanding about others, I am open to learning, understanding and accepting, while I stay true to my basic principles and beliefs.  I am also happy to find friends and acquaintances who are a joy to be around, and have much for me to learn from,  or to ignore and let go of events that are ignorant or biased, without getting perturbed. And for one while I am an Australian, and I have come to love Australia over the past few years, I still am and always will be a very proud Indian. I am one of the fortunate ones, who can call two great nations her own!

When There isn't time, There are Friends to tell you otherwise.

Just a couple of days ago,  I wrote this on Facebook.

"Sometimes, I truly wish I had the time to start blogging again... writing, recording my thoughts and experiences, and hopefully looking back someday to see all that I have learnt. I love having the conversations in my mind that I do, on the odd quiet moments, while cooking or cleaning, and wish, just wish I was typing it away instead.

I really wish I could manage the time.
Life is so short and yet so rich,
So much to learn from , so much to grow,
And yet I miss not noting it down somewhere,
To come back and see how much I have grown and changed,
Learnt from experiences, laughs and mistakes,
I wish I could just note it down somewhere.

As time flies past, with the kids who change each day,
I think how far they have come along the way,
I want to store and record each precious moment,
Somewhere safe, for me to come back to see where it all went,
To write down what I think and feel on a cheery day,
So that I can read to get back the smile I might be missing on a grey day,
To store and share with my friends,
All the colours that my life lends.

I truly wish I could manage the time to blog again."

I was amazed at just how many of my friends encouraged me to get back at it, and said that I was just making excuses. I hope I am not. I do try my level best to prioritise, I have tried blogging on and off, but it just does not stick. A lot has to do with me not being the fastest or most efficient person around.But hey, I need to keep trying isn't it?

A lovely friend, who did not quite comment on the post, mailed me a link to an article instead. Have a read of it, if like me you too complaint of never quite finding enough time. While I don't think I am important one bit, I do feel quite inefficient. And if I indeed do stop being on the social networking sites, as often as I am, I am sure I will be a lot more alert, aware and 'with time', than I currently am.

I am making a list here, of all things that I think save me time, will save me time, or increase my efficiency!

1. Chanting and Praying. It may sound unrelated, but I have noticed a marked difference in my energy levels on the days that I do chant, and the days that I don't. I found it so much easier to cope after the birth of The Smallie, rather than The BB, simply because I chanted and prayed. Even with just the BB, I was overwhelmed, but I managed much better with both after The Smallie.

2.Eat a light Dinner. The lighter the dinner, the easier it is for me to wake up in the morning bright and fresh. The earlier I wake up, the more organised I am, and the more I get done in the day. But I let go, when its something too yummy!

3. Prioritise.  Make a to-do list and stick to it. Don't add more on, and don't carry forward the list either.

4. Get off Surfing the Net. This is something I am working on implementing and I know it will save me loads of time.

5. Get a Break - Fresh Air, Outdoors. I don't always do it, but it really helps when I feel too overwhelmed, by my to-do list or both the boys needing attention, screaming etc etc, if I just step out for a few minutes, breathe in fresh air, maybe with a cuppa in hand if I am lucky, I feel better equipped to deal with what's at hand.

Please share your tips too, would love to read them. I feel better after the mid-week holiday we had yesterday, and now on to the rest of my day, you have a good one too!